Why didn't you show up to work?  We were expecting you at work.

I was not scheduled to work. I put my request in over a month ago with my manager. I was in a wedding.  You never got it?

My Father was in the hospital. I thought you heard.

What do you mean, it was my scheduled day off. I didn't know I had to answer my phone when I'm done working.

My work phone didn't have any missed calls/messages, I didn't know I had to show up. I thought you would call me if something came in.

I have gout on my foot and this is painful and I have to stay off my feet.

My wife is at the Drs and I need to be with her. We are doing fertility, so, you know what that means. I'll call you when the appointment is done.

Sorry about not calling I had to take daughter back to doctors and I had my phone off.

I'm sick and not coming in, don't want to wake you.

I didn’t come into work because I traded shifts with [insert poor bastards name here].

I didn’t do it, it was [insert  employee name here again] that did that.

[Insert employees name here yet again] told me it was okay to do that.

I was helping out [insert poor guys name here again] and get him fired once and for all] and that’s why you couldn’t find me.

Employee excuses! Click here!