Why are you in the company vehicle, speeding in a school zone, when you aren't even working today?

What do you mean?  I am home. Oh are you talking about earlier.  I was out getting parts for a job that is scheduled for tomorrow---- yeah, good one, you have only been home for 5 minutes so you haven't been home for very long!

Other excuse for using company vechicle:

Someone called in about you carrying out a brown paper bag from the gas station.  Tech answer: I was not working anymore.  I'm stopping by a friends house on the way home

Someone called in about your door flying open and water heaters about to fly out of your truck.  Tech answer: Oh yeah, I thought I saw my door open.  I suppose I better pull over and latch it?  Office: Duh!